Starting Over - A Breath of Fresh Air

What are you holding on to?

I happened upon a useless fact: If you are locked in a completely sealed room, you will die of carbon dioxide poisoning first before you will die of oxygen deprivation.

This got me thinking; One has the means [oxygen] to get the job done, but instead are suffocating by not growing up, stifled by the environment, the not letting go, and not pushing forward for the things they want. He's bigger than our dreams. Don't let what you think He can do get in the way of the overflow that is just around the corner. When you are at your lowest point, just keep waking up. Every day will be not be the same story. Eventually you see something you have never seen.

I want to start over. I want to see something new. Trust and believe...something new is around the corner.

Let me say thank you to Terrie Williams for sharing her poem with me. It means so much to be trusted with these feelings. She has allowed me to share this. I hope it touches you as well.

A Breath of Fresh Air - by T. Williams

Inhale

The fresh air breathing in a new and upgraded life.

Exhale

The turmoil I carried for too many years.

Inhale

A sense of self love and new confidence

Exhale

The thoughts of self doubt and low self esteem.

Inhale

Peace of mind and peace in my heart.

Exhale

Chaotic living and a broken heart.

Inhale

A lifted spirit that there is life after lost love

Exhale

The memories of pain and suffering.

Inhale

Finding me again

Exhale

Losing insecurities.

Inhale

The scent of a new beginning.

Exhale

The stale scent of constant let downs.

Inhale

The feeling of security

Exhale

Fear

Inhale

The affections of a new companionship

Exhale

Selfish acts and mistrust

Inhale

The capability to possibly love again

Exhale

A scorned heart

Inhale

A Breath of Fresh Air

Exhale.

Vivid Imagination

“I thought I met 3 people: vanity, gluttony, and apathy. But when I looked at them with different eyes, they merely worked within their lot. The hardship for some was a passing time they tossed around for giggles and conversation. In actuality it was faith, contentment, and waiting for a reverse of their situation.”

- EyeSay

I have particularly vivid dreams. Sometimes I question what was I to glean from the dream. I’m all about self-discovery and growth…so let’s not waste time.

The dream was about 3 people that I was supposed to take care of.

1. A man who kept eating fatty, fried, unhealthy anything even though he was sick and about to have surgery, he wouldn't change.

2. A lady concerned with getting surgery to make her stomach smaller so she would be "sexy" again. From the back, she looked like she was a good size and didn’t need to change, but when she turned around, you could see very apparently what the issue was. She looked like a toothpick holding up a tree.

3. A lady that just wanted to know what I could do for her. What I would cook, errands she wanted done, change a light bulb, bring her something, etc...but she looked fine to me.

Just because a situation looks one way, doesn’t mean it is so. What if it were:

1. For the man, the fix wasn’t as simple as a diet change. He had other lasting issues, was content to accept his life as it was and enjoys it for as long as he could.

2. For this woman, you needed to know her to see her issue. The side she gave everyone showed strong and that everything was under control. When you needed to look in her eyes, she couldn’t hide any longer what she struggled with.

3. For this woman, it wasn’t laziness that pushed her to want others to do what she could do for herself, she was just lonely. Wanting someone else there gave her comfort. Why is it so hard to ask for help, an ear, companionship?

There were two other people I haven't described. One was the lady who I thought was a friend, but was actually using me to take care of the people without my knowledge, charging them, and keeping the money. She IS actually "greed". Greed has the appearance of a "friendly", but is mainly self-serving in spite of how well you treat it.

The last was, yet another woman, who appeared to be blind. She was old, hadn't been outside in years, covered her head, her eyes, her neck, heavy coat...just guarded. And finally had someone escort her outside. And it was a beautiful clear day; but she was so afraid of what she couldn't see, the open, the birds, sounds; she wanted to come back in and go to her room. I don’t have a positive spin on that one. I think it is sad when life makes people afraid to live.

What do YouSay?

How can we reach people if the first thought is to condemn or judge them? How comfortable does one need to be?

(Not saying this is the majority)

Falling In Love

Thinking about those words..."falling in love". Stumbling into a place you want to be, but not knowing the way to get there; a welcoming surprise that has given one reason to smile in their sleep. However, at times, we need to be intentional about where our love lies and where it stays. Love should not be surface or shallow. It is a conscience vow of trust and commitment. This stems to your friends, family, the beauty you fashion with your hands, and the vision you create with your heart.

If you have lost your focus along the way, are having problems tapping into that something that made your heart race, or misplaced your zeal, remember your vow - the vow to yourself to be the best you could be, smile inspite of the rain, shift your perspective when your motivation is on the tail end of being anything at all - whatever that vow may be.

Falling in Love is fun; it can take too long though. Be Intentional today. Make the effort even if you don't want to. You could be surprised by the outcome.

Philippians 3:12 - Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.

There are things and people we enjoy - however, remember not to enjoy the people as if they are things.

- EyeSay

Be Well

-EyeSay

Get Involved

There is no short list of things you have to do. We are consumed by routine and our choices; it seems there’s no time to slip in yet another addition to the infamous “list”. I’m here to tap on your shoulder, saying…

If you are not
1. Jumping out of the bed on ‘10’ in the morning with a piece of buttered toast and orange juice,
2. Rushing to get started on what wasn’t completed yesterday (because you want to, not because you have to), and
3. Saying how much you love your life right before you close your eyes at night

…then it’s time to get involved in other activities that will compliment your balancing act.

Finding that thing that gives you a “warm fuzzy” day in-and-out is not the easiest thing to do, so what better way to find out than trial-and-error. The worst that could happen is that you have a story to add to your list of experiences. You may not be the Indiana Jones or Martha Stewart type, but you never know what taking an interest outside your regular interests may take you. Here are some suggestions to building up your repertoire of “What was I thinking”.

1. Groupon & Living Social Coupons – Have mercy if you don’t find something to do, eat, climb, play, build, sell, start, or attend through one of these venues. Do me a favor and sign up from my link so I can get $5 off my next adventure!

2. Meet Up – There are so many groups to join, from the movie junkie and food/wine critic to networking for women in technology to exchange ideas. Who knew you would be able to find a social venue for hair care there as well!! Don’t move to a new city without it.

3. Become a Tester/Surveyor – Someone has to do it! (Article from OnPar.blog.nytimes, Article from Hugpages). People are devising ways to please people everyday. In that, they are looking for an objective take on their products. I’m not saying you are going to come out with a Range Rover Sport to drive for 6 months, but maybe you’ll find a safety consideration/convenience they hadn’t.

4. Kickboxing Classes – What else needs to be said about this!! Winner!!!

The point is solely to try something different before you write it off and developing camaraderie. It may even become a stress reliever. Good luck in your next new something!

“The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.”

“When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better.”

Until next time...


-EyeSay

What Power Would You Want?

Hmmm. So I'm really into sci-fi, unicorns, x-men, (say it with me) A-va-tar; all that good stuff. I think it's interesting where the imagination can take you. So I'm thinking, if I could have one power, what would it be? I don't have an answer for that because one power wouldn't be enough, and there is always something attached that makes it not a good idea. For example, being able to read minds. Sounds great until someone would get to read mine. Have mercy!

What if you could know what would happen in the future (for certain) on a particular day, would you want to? If you knew on March 7, 2012, you would hit the lotto, using a dollar you found on the streets, would you go through losing your home, family/friends, job, and being homeless for a good 10 months...to find that dollar on the street, would you still want the money? If you knew in November 17, 2011 you would have a baby, if you had to go through 2 miscarriages back to back, would you still pursue the idea? If you knew tomorrow you would be given the desires of your heart, if you let go of today, would you? Would knowing about tomorrow cause a shift in attitude? Perhaps accepting something you wouldn't, saying something you shouldn't?

Just curious.

Said all that to say, let tomorrow take care of itself. You don't need to know tomorrow to know everything is being worked out for good. Worrying can be overwhelming and fruitless. Make it through today with an action to be better than yesterday. Let the good flow from our decisions today. Be faithful. Be right with and in your heart. You can do and have the desires of your heart. Don't sell yourself short.

Set goals, push forward, and encourage someone. A kind word goes a long way.

"Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be."

~Karen Ravn

-EyeSay

I AM that I AM (Exodus 3:14)

We are in the Season of Transition. Things get topsy-turvy, and we don’t know if we’re coming or going. That’s not to say things are all bad; there could be some good things coming through and it can be overwhelming. Who wouldn’t want that kind of action?! However, we have to remember that however a good or bad a thing is perceived, we still have to remember who is in control. God is and will always Be (Psalm 34:18). He leads us and guides along a righteous path if we trust Him enough. How much is enough?

Enough to know when to say when.
Enough to wait for His Plan to manifest itself, instead of making our own.
Enough to listen to Him, instead of listening only to the voice in our heads that says "I" before any other word.
Enough to not ask "why".
Enough to say "If It Be Your Will".

My heart is heavy for those who are struggling right now; with loss, the fear of loss, rejection, anger, fear, confusion, hurdles as high as skyscrapers, and pain as deep as canyons. I weep for you. I weep for families that are separated under pressure of not communicating, relationships that are severed, memories that replay like the end of a bad movie -- so much you don't know when you will wake up from the nightmares.

Tell me what will it take for you to let Him have His way (Psalm 145:17)? Tell me how far down you need to go before you will look up and see His Glory is brighter than your pain (Romans 11:36)? When will you allow His Strength to wrap around you as a shield of protection from the storms you are in? Tell me what proof you will need to know that He Is GOD? Life is cyclical. Know that when you are at your worst, God is there.

In the end you will be victorious. This is not wishful thinking. Sometimes we just have to wait. (Easier said than done - doesn't change the answer).

"I am not concerned that you have fallen -- I am concerned that you arise."

-Abraham Lincoln

-EyeSay

Are You Ready

Have you ever held something so tightly, it suffocated and withered in your grasp. After wanting something so badly, you believed it was possible to lose it. So, you lock it in a jar, rendering it useless. Then the “why’s”. Oh the “why’s”. Was it a misappropriation of resources? Poor advice? Could it have been you couldn’t handle what you asked for because in all that wanting, you neglected to prepare to receive it?

For all the things I have said I wanted (at the time I wanted them), I knew afterward either why things turned for tragedy, or that they could have been one. It is the beauty of wisdom, and should be the advantage of age. With it, the knowledge to handle different situations, regardless of circumstance becomes a little less complicated. Perspective.

I am a different person than I was at 18.
I have a different demeanor than I did at 22.
I am a better woman than I was at 26.
Today, I am more grateful for each breath; more appreciative of each friend; more careful of the words I use and their effect; and more willing to listen instead of learn from the consequences of my actions.

There is no joy and certainly no prosperity in being stagnant. Take inventory of today. It is chock-full with blessings and new adventures around the corner…if you’re willing to take that leap.

Fear is a debilitating thing…along with Failure. See a success in you; in everything you touch and are connected to. Don’t stop the train from moving forward.

II Corinthians 9:15 – “Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift.”


-EyeSay

I Choose

They done gone and done it now!! I just received and email that caused me to exhale. I thank God for the people we meet, the encounters we have (because each of them is life-changing, whether you want to admit it or not), and the ability to choose. I’m thankful for my own mind to follow my own heart, dreams, realize my fears, and choose to overcome/face them head on.

My only message today is to not wait. Don’t wait on the timing to improve. Don’t wait until you are a little more comfortable. You can have what you want. Give up being restrained. Don’t live in the confines of others expectations. Love freely and often.

Pray, Listen, and Move.

Live.

I want success and happiness for you, however you choose to define it. Be grateful and take account of those blessing in your life. Find the good in your day, and share your light with others.

You are a Champion!

-EyeSay

7 Keys to A Successful Marriage

Come, come now. How should I know? I’m not married. I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night…and some of my BEST friends are married (pun intended), but that’s not my life, currently. I know what I think and what I’ve seen. Being inlove keeps you looking young, feeling energetic and acting giddy. It is the envy of the masses when you see a happy elderly couple acting like teenagers.
(http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/staticslideshowrs.aspx?cp-documentid=23367571&GT1=32023)
Who doesn't want love when it's genuine, warm, and given freely (without judgment or remorse).

Here are my tidbits on a successful marriage. You can save me from myself if you see me barking up the wrong tree.

1. Remember and apply these words: negotiation and compromise. The name of the game is sacrifice. It is possible to put someone before yourself without losing who you are. You do not have to have your way all the time.

2. Keep dating, keep courting, and keep doting. Laugh often!! What you did to get them is what you do to keep them. And as you learn them, you do more to let them know how much they mean to you. But not do more of what you want, but more of what they like. Are you listening to who they are? Do not forsake quality time that encompasses appreciating your mate. It’s more than just alone time, it’s adore time.

3. Put the weapons down: cold shoulders, slicing tongues, hurtful hands, below the belt shots. There is a difference between honest and cruel. Communicating effectively is not over rated or impossible.

4. Shhhh. Stop talking so much and listen. Then apply/implement the action items/suggestions. This is not an opportunity to make your point or win the argument. Care about what they are going through and what’s on their minds.

5. Lowered Expectaaaations (anyone remember that satire from MAD TV - completely unrelated, just asking). Many times we screw the pooch holding others hostage to our expectations and further become upset when they don’t do what we want or say. However, if each one focuses on being better in the relationship for the other person, the expectation becomes the standard, without demanding it.

6. A marriage is between two people. Do everything you can to keep it that way. What more can be said about this, really…

7. Your relationship with God changes so much. It shows you how to forgive, not be angry, be supportive, love unconditionally, give without expectation, serve honey instead of salt, mend wounds, not create new ones, treasure this life and your gift (your spouse) everyday. This life is short. Share good days.

Let's go ahead and wrap this one up. I'm always interested in words of wisdom and look forward to you telling what you think it takes to have a successful marriage. Give us all some tips to grow on.

"But let patience have her perfect work that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." - James 1:4


-EyeSay

Love & Forgive

Thank you to every lesson learned through error, by default, by request, or by listening to someone when they tell you what is what.

I loathe Best Buy (I'm a work in progress). They did me WRONG back in the day. That TV was in my possession!!! Oh that was an awful day...I digress...but that doesn't mean I can't ever go back (I'm trying Jwah). They have GOOD sales! It was one man, not the company. I'm doing myself a disservice by avoiding them at all costs to the point of discomfort to myself. Sure, I could go to another store, it won't be too far away, but it's my resentment that keeps me from giving them my money. At times we treat people the same way. From that point on, skepticism, presumptions, and general distrust, are the only tools you have to work with.

The past is an excellent reminder how far one hasn't moved forward. When the past does creep in, the question is "Who left the door open???" Who said it was alright to play on my fears, insecurities, or come up with another excuse to build up a wall. My past does not dictate my future. What makes that so? Forgiveness. There can be so much resentment for other people once they've hurt you, it becomes a weight, simply masquerading as a smile, an "I'm Fine". You stop letting anyone close enough to find out who you really are. When you look in the mirror, or sit quietly in your room, ride silently in the car (just for a moment) and reflect on who you are, where you are, what do you come up with? Don't let history dictate your future.

It's so much easier to forgive, let go, start fresh, move on, than to make excuses for why. My friend told me the only reason to keep asking why, is because you don't want to face the end. Those who don't let go get dragged. REALLY Forgive. Don't bring it up. Don't relive the pain. The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands, but in seeing with new eyes. [Marcel Proust]

That's all I have this time around. Love hard, often, and like you're running out of time. Forgive because He is Forgiving you for EVERYTHING. LOVE because He loves you and FORGIVE because He forgives you, EVERY TIME! Say Thank You by doing as God does.

“Forgiveness is the economy of the heart... forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.”
Hannah Moore

Trust the process.

-EyeSay

Give It Up

One of my passions is writing. I love poetry, the written word, expression in every form. I love people. The energy, the drive, the courage, the humor, the intelligence and ingenuity. With all of the positives, I love also, the ability to be vulnerable, emotional, sensitive, basically exposed. Talking with a friend today I posed the question to “Tell me the last time you saw something beautiful”…and this is what he said:

"I went to visit my mentor/friend/church member at his office on Friday, so we could talk and build, and his wife stopped by the office. When she came in, as she was walking down the hall, he turned, saw her, and said, merely by reflex, "DANG! Is that my wife!?!?!" From there he just stopped and watched her walk towards us, exhaling. They have been married for years, have 4 children, and he still gets giddy when he sees his wife. I absolutely loved it. It was so genuine..."

I talk about finding your passion in the things that you do, quit your job, be happy instead of going through the motions. However, know that declaration goes further than how you make money. It extends to people, the ones you love and learn. It’s important to spend your time instead of wasting it. Spending, you tend to know what you’re doing with it, wasting, you wake up with regrets.

Give someone your very best this week. Let them know how much you care about them. Make someone’s day brighter with your smile. You already know it’s time for a quote to keep you until the next time.

What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters

compared to what lies within us.
~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

I would love to hear from you as well. Tell me the last time you saw something beautiful, what it was, and how it made you feel. I looking forward to your responses.

-EyeSay