Have you ever held something so tightly, it suffocated and withered in your grasp. After wanting something so badly, you believed it was possible to lose it. So, you lock it in a jar, rendering it useless. Then the “why’s”. Oh the “why’s”. Was it a misappropriation of resources? Poor advice? Could it have been you couldn’t handle what you asked for because in all that wanting, you neglected to prepare to receive it?
For all the things I have said I wanted (at the time I wanted them), I knew afterward either why things turned for tragedy, or that they could have been one. It is the beauty of wisdom, and should be the advantage of age. With it, the knowledge to handle different situations, regardless of circumstance becomes a little less complicated. Perspective.
I am a different person than I was at 18.
I have a different demeanor than I did at 22.
I am a better woman than I was at 26.
Today, I am more grateful for each breath; more appreciative of each friend; more careful of the words I use and their effect; and more willing to listen instead of learn from the consequences of my actions.
There is no joy and certainly no prosperity in being stagnant. Take inventory of today. It is chock-full with blessings and new adventures around the corner…if you’re willing to take that leap.
Fear is a debilitating thing…along with Failure. See a success in you; in everything you touch and are connected to. Don’t stop the train from moving forward.
II Corinthians 9:15 – “Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift.”
-EyeSay
I love it! And I love the breakdown of how age has changed the thinking of a woman in search of something bigger than herself. Has fear ever left you stagnant a time or two? And if so was it in your younger days or now that you've seen a little bit more of how mean people can be?
ReplyDeleteNoni, not being afraid is still a struggle. More when I was younger because I didn't know my own strength. Today, just trying to get out of my own way. I had been talking about being an actuary for probably two years. Fear of being one of the 80% that fail the exam the first time made me second guess myself. Nothing beats a failure but a try, so I'm in it to win it, registered, and we'll see.
ReplyDeleteAnd people can be cruel, unsupportive, and blind to your vision when you really need a cheering section. Sometimes we have to be our own party! Do you find yourself more free or more fearful as your responsibilities have increased?
I want so badly to be free...you know like before you started meeting all these mean and judgmental people.
ReplyDeleteEach day lately has been a struggle...but God has strategically placed a cheering section in front, behind, to my left and to my right. So it is funny you should mention that in your post. At one point I thought I was tired of being so strong and fearless but now I see it in my full destiny to be nothing but shaken and stirred until I am just right! And as a mother (new responsibilities indeed) I can't be afraid of anything but the shaking and all the stirring does get me from time to time. As you know...
Keep the positivity and insight coming!